Unless you’ve been living under the ruins of a massive shipwreck, you know Titanic 3D crashed back into theaters. Jack and Rose are on the tips of everyone’s tongues again—probably because Rose screams “Jack!” a grand total of 80 times throughout the film (Jack only yells “Rose” 50 times—he’s not as clingy). In the swirl of tragic romance and rising salt water, don’t forget the other famous Jacks and Roses that make everyday life so special.
Captain Jack Harkness
Whether he’s buddying up with Doctor Who or battling alien threats on Torchwood, Captain Jack Harkness makes space travel sexy. Man, woman, alien — swarthy Harkness hits on them all. With every smirk and wink, Harkness vortex-warps into our hearts, making him our favorite former time agent, con artist, and master of the flirt. Plus, actor John Barrowman was at C2E2, making fan girls everywhere embarrass themselves even though he’s openly disinterested in vaginas (see C2E2 coverage on page 12).
Jack Russell Terriers
Jack Russells were originally bred for fox hunting, which explains why they’re so foxy. Scrappy and yappy, this breed’s long stood as the quintessential terrier. Famous examples include Wishbone and My Dog Skip. And yes, the dog on Frasier was a Jack Russell — and he received way more fan mail than Kelsey Grammer.
Axl Rose
With his old jean jackets placed in Hard Rock Cafe’s all across America, Guns N’ Roses frontman Axl Rose has come to Champion the ’80s hair band scene. Unfortunately, Axl is prone to racist remarks, homophobia and occasional domestic violence – it’s no wonder GNR appeals so heavily to America’s greatest patriots.
The Rosary
The beaded icon of Catholicism – used by God’s devout to count and recount a series of prayers and Hail Marys, ultimately leading up to a user’s choice of one of the 20 Mysteries of the Rosary. This choose your own adventure approach to prayer spices up the classic, “Our Father who art in heaven…”s without forcing anyone to really think about what they’re doing.
Jack Donaghy
Much like Titanic‘s basement level patron, Jack Dawson, Jack Donaghy comes from modest beginnings. But Donaghy doesn’t need no upper class broad to show him his potential – Donaghy climbs the NBC/Kabletown corporate ladder through hard negotiations, manipulation, and pure, unadulterated synergy.
Jack in the Box
Like an all-in-one food court, Jack in the Box offers everything from Burgers to tacos to eggrolls. Fronted by a big business suit and tie with a beaming pinball head – it’s easy to feel the inadequacies of northern regional fast food chains. Get your head in the game, Portillo’s – we want to snack on stuffed Jalapeños alongside our cake shakes.
“Kiss from a Rose”
“Kiss from a rose on the gray” sounds just vague enough to seem romantic, but Seal’s lyrics don’t stand up under scrutiny. Did you know… that when it snows… his eyes become large? The song hit the charts after its inclusion on the Batman Forever soundtrack—the most tender and passionate of the Batman movies. Cuddle up with your honey, put on this smooth track, and reflect on my power, my pleasure, my pain.
Rose Weasley
When Ron and Hermione finally get it on, they have a little ginger daughter named Rose. One of the newest generation of magical kiddos, Rose rolls with an intimidating troop of Potter and Weasley offspring. Sure, she only shows up in the epilogue of the last book, but at least she lucked into a better name than poor Albus Severus.
