I love … Sequel.
In reportable news everyone probably already knows, Anchorman 2 is in production! Will Ferrell as Ron Burgandy appeared on Conan this past week to announce the sequel, and with at least one reference to his “turgid penis,” it was fun for the whole family. Adam McKay will return as director with Judd Apatow as producer for the script co-written by Ferrell and McKay. This movie is bound to leave us all with enough quotes until Steve Carell reprises his role as Evan Almighty (totally kidding; I wouldn’t wish that on anyone).
Jiffy Mixed
Breaking every sort of automobile law there is, a man was arrested in Washington for texting and eating while driving a stolen truck. In case you care, he was eating a croissant.
Stephen King-of-Remakes
In yet another film remake proving that all the imagination and creativity in Hollywood got zapped up by Avatar (gotta keep the jokes coming), Chloe Moretz has been cast as the lead in the new adaptation of Carrie, a movie based off a Stephen King novel of the same name. You’d probably remember Moretz as Jack Donaghy’s 12-year-old nemesis or, moving away from 30 Rock, the little, superhero girl (aw, a pink cape!) in Kick-Ass. Will she master that creepy and annoying, completely expressionless, wide-eyed, telekinetic face?
Honey Boo-Boo Puppy
Some woman named Decaprio is the “mother” of a newborn puppy named Beyonce´ that everyone’s making a big stink about because she can fit into a teaspoon. The next litter will maybe have a “Blanket” or “Pilot Inspektor” or two.
“WHAT IS ART?”
While the sixth season of 30 Rock got off to a shaky start (why is Liz Lemon’s boyfriend so young and hot?), with even the creators writing jokes for the show about how they might be scraping the bottom of the barrel for humorous circumstances, it has been getting better. Maybe in the hopes to excite its hardcore fans, NBC released the news that Avery Jessup (Elizabeth Banks) will be returning to the show. A handful of vague references and a few heartfelt Jack Donaghy soliloquies in season five about his missing wife were not enough to get us to remember Avery just a few short episodes after she’d been kidnapped by North Korea. Maybe their daughter, Liddy, will become more prominent, too. Liddy. Quite unfortunately, seems to bear a close resemblance to Daisy and Tom Buchanan’s baby.
There’s something in the water
In stories The Leader has most certainly reported on before, four Utah teens were caught running naked through an Ogdon-area neighborhood, apparently inspired by one of those shitty American Pie spin-offs. Strangely, they were carrying BB guns because “they feared they would be attacked by deer.” Utah teens just can’t seem to keep it in their pants.
Illustration by Tyler Kerr
